Prepare your guns folks!
For after sex comes quarrel.
Better load up on high octane booze and silver canteens,
Before you take another breath.
Find a trench and lip lock yourself down
camouflage rarely helps,
So wear bright colors to chase maniacal spouses away.
I find that in matters of the heart
one should grit the teeth,
brace for impact,
Prepare for the worst,
Buy life insurance,
Sign pre-nuptial agreements,
Hoard canned goods and bottled water,
sit right behind the Berlin Wall –
Look at each other through minuscule cracks or spaces in the stone –
survey your supplies before you speak,
pick your words and distribute them evenly between,
swigs of booze and far off gazes –
Hunker down and protect your heart,
For they might just stab you with a plastic fork from Denny’s –
Sit and pause behind that good grey cold clean wall.
Listen and breathe,
know your opponent,
speak-let them speak-speak again,
waste a few hours in this way,
before throwing in the towel –
Then wave the white flag
SIMULTANEOUSLY (of course)
With your right hand always on that trigger,
oh the spoils of love, or, war.